Are you an independently wealthy woman? A gold(!) digger? Do you like blowing wads of cash? If so you may want to consider this 24 karat luxury facial treatment. For about $360 you can get an 80-minute gold leafing of your face.

Ron Razeggi, U.S. chief operating officer of the manufacturer, UMO, said: “The skin tries to reject the gold because it’s a foreign object. In order to do that, it builds new cells.”Right now, the body produces new cells every 28 days. But this accelerates the cell-building and, as a result, it firms and tightens the skin.”

Well there you have it ladies, straight from the jackass’s mouth. In all honesty though, if you’re a woman and reading this website I’m confident you’re already beautiful inside and out (not to mention intelligent and complete with a great sense of humor) and don’t need this crap. Besides, you don’t even get to keep the gold after the treatment.